Author: Jimmy

Arsenal have enjoyed a flying start to their season, with seven wins from eight games putting them in the top 10 best openings to a Premier League campaign.

Here are those 10 sides quickest out of the blocks (Manchester United are nowhere to be seen) and how it ended for the others…

10) Arsenal 2022/23 – 21 points
W7 D0 L1 F20 A8 GD+12
Average goals scored: 2.5
Average goals conceded: 1
Final position: ?

Arsenal have started the season in fine fettle and, unsettlingly, don’t seem destined to implode at any moment. Manchester City will probably still walk the league now they are getting into their groove, but the Gunners’ start looks oddly sustainable.

9) Newcastle United 1995/96 – 21 points
W7 D0 L1 F17 A4 GD+13
Average goals scored: 2.13
Average goals conceded: 0.5
Final position: Runners-up

Kevin Keegan’s Entertainers captivated us all with a dramatic plot twist in the spring. After opening up a 12-point lead, they caved in to Manchester United’s sheer force of presence, as Eric Cantona hauled the Red Devils level with the Magpies before dashing for the line.

8) Chelsea 2012/13 – 22 points
W7 D1 L0 F19 A6 GD+13
Average goals scored: 2.38
Average goals conceded: 0.75
Final position: 3rd

After winning the Champions League the season before, Roberto Di Matteo’s Blues sprinted out of the blocks. But after matchday eight, they blew up spectacularly. They went seven without a win in the league and jeopardised their Champions League prospects which prompted Roman Abramovich to axe Di Matteo and hire Rafa Benitez as interim boss. Benitez wasn’t a popular appointment but he steadied the ship and dragged the Blues to a top-four finish while winning the Europa League.

7) Chelsea 2014/15 – 22 points
W7 D1 L0 F23 A8 GD+15
Average goals scored: 2.88
Average goals conceded: 1
Final position: Champions

Jose Mourinho’s men never let up, losing only three games all season, the first defeat coming in December at Newcastle. The title was wrapped up with three games still remaining and the Blues strolled to the finish line, eight points ahead of City.

6) Newcastle United 1994/95 – 22 points
W7 D1 L0 F25 A8 GD+17
Average goals scored: 3.13
Average goals conceded: 1
Final position: Sixth

The Toon made the best start to any top-flight season in their history and they stayed top until mid-November. Then they won only once in 11 games and sold Andy Cole to Manchester United. Keegan’s men recovered some composure to hold third place until six games from the finish line. Then they lost it again, slipping out of the European places on the final day.

5) Arsenal 2004/05 – 22 points
W7 D1 L0 F26 A7 GD+19
Average goals scored: 3.25
Average goals conceded: 0.88
Final position: Runners-up

Unbeaten the previous season, the Invincibles started the new campaign in similar vein, setting a new English division record before being beaten at the 50th attempt by Manchester United in not-at-all controversial circumstances. Upon the end of their unbeaten streak, the Gunners’ form dipped and their defence creaked. Chelsea took over at the summit from where they never fell, despite Arsenal ending the season with eight wins in nine games.

4) Manchester City 2011/12 – 22 points
W7 D1 L0 F27 A6 GD+21
Average goals scored: 3.38
Average goals conceded: 0.75
Final position: Champions

City didn’t taste defeat until mid-December at Chelsea and Roberto Mancini’s men retained top spot through the winter as they sought their first Premier League title. Then they sh*t themselves to allow United to go top, only for the Red Devils to make an even bigger mess of their own bed, resulting in Aguerooooooo Sunday.

3) Manchester City 2017/18 – 24 points
W7 D1 L0 F29 A4 GD+25
Average goals scored: 3.63
Average goals conceded: 0.5
Final position: Champions

10) Alan Shearer (147 minutes per goal)
He might have scored more Premier League goals than any other striker in Premier League history but too many single-figure seasons for Newcastle United keep him down this list. He actually *only* scored goals at the same rate as Chicharito and Daniel Sturridge, though he can take some comfort from being ahead of his old mate Michael Owen (154 minutes per goal).

9) Diego Costa (146 minutes per goal)
A genuine danger of him slipping right off this list the more he plays for a toothless Wolves side in his dotage. But for Chelsea he was phenomenal, pretty much from the get-go, a maelstrom of sh*thousing and absolutely ruthless finishing. He scored 52 goals in 89 Premier League goals and then Antonio Conte basically told him to f*** off by text message. Oh Antonio.

8) Edin Dzeko (142 minutes per goal)
Manchester City have made some excellent transfer decisions but signing Wilfried Bony and forcing out Dzeko was absolutely not one of them. Little over a year later he was the Serie A top scorer as he showed exactly what he can produce when not reduced to being a very good team’s third-choice striker.

7) Robin van Persie (140 minutes per goal)
A great goalscorer and a scorer of great goals, which is not true for everybody on this list, Van Persie started slowly at Arsenal but then became a back-to-back Golden Boot winner, first with the Gunners and then with Manchester United, who he casually joined just to win a Premier League winner’s medal. In hindsight, absolutely fair play.

6) Luis Suarez (139 minutes per goal)
A wonderful player but a questionable human being, which makes it really quite funny that he scored 69 goals in 110 Premier League games for Liverpool in three years and left with nothing more than a League Cup medal won on penalties against Cardiff City.

5) Mo Salah (132 minutes per goal)
The only man on this list who does not largely play as an out-and-out striker, though nobody is expecting him to help out his full-back too much from his nominal position on the right. Three Golden Boots (two shared) in five full seasons at Liverpool is a phenomenal record that probably should have reaped more than one title. And now he is on the wane.

4) Ruud van Nistelrooy (128 minutes per goal)
Another striker who hit the ground running and went on to score a ludicrous 95 Premier League goals in 150 games before Sir Alex Ferguson chose Ronaldo and decided that the Dutchman was holding Manchester United back with all his goals. Just one title in five seasons would suggest he was right.

3) Harry Kane (128 minutes per goal)
Three Golden Boots and a genuinely ridiculous 190 goals in 287 Premier League games for Tottenham and yet he has never won a damned thing. Not a damned thing. F*** all. He could probably score 35 goals this season and still not win a fourth Golden Boot and that has to smart.

2) Thierry Henry (122 minutes per goal)
Simply a beautiful, beautiful footballer. Poetry in motion. Hit 20 Premier League goals in five of his eight full seasons and claimed the Golden Boot four times. Also contributed the most assists of anybody on this list as he was far, far more than a great goalscorer. And he gave Jamie Carragher PTSD.

1) Sergio Aguero (108 minutes per goal)
Six 20-goal Premier League seasons in ten campaigns with Manchester City in which Aguero scored every kind of goal. He also claimed five Premier League winner’s medals and more League Cups than any of us can count. He was the don. How could City replace him? With a robot, obviously.

With two road wins against Power Five competition through three weeks, No. 23 Penn State has taken care of business in September and set a course for nine or more wins during the regular season.

Saturday’s 41-12 win at Auburn even included beauty points. To start with, winning by 29 points against an SEC opponent even as downtrodden as the Tigers speaks for itself.

Add in an offense that gained 477 yards, averaged 6.3 yards per carry and 10.1 yards per pass attempt. Two freshmen running backs with extreme potential, Nicholas Singleton and Kaytron Allen, combined for 176 yards and four touchdowns — one, Singleton’s 54-yard score in the fourth quarter, put a dent in the concept of SEC speed.

Defensively, PSU forced four turnovers, hassled Auburn quarterback T.J. Finley and held the Tigers’ running game to just 119 yards on 36 carries.

More so than the narrow season-opening win at Purdue, the victory validates the Nittany Lions’ place in the USA TODAY Sports AFCA Coaches Poll and hints at the increasing possibility that PSU could land in the New Year’s Six.

To get into one of these major bowl games, the Nittany Lions have to avoid stumbling against the third and fourth tiers of the Big Ten — Northwestern, Indiana, Maryland, Rutgers — and earn a split in the four games that will determine whether they earn any sort of national respect: Michigan, Minnesota, Ohio State and Michigan State

After two middling seasons under James Franklin, the win at least ensures that PSU deserves to be included among the best teams in the conference. For Auburn, there’s only one way this thing is going to end: in a coaching change.

Winners
Oregon
No. 24 Oregon will regain some credibility and earn a place near the top of the Pac-12 power rankings after handing No. 14 Brigham Young a 41-20 loss. Bo Nix and the Ducks’ offense had 439 yards, 24 first downs and 11.4 yards per pass attempt, delivering the second very strong performance in two weeks after beginning the year with a blowout loss to Georgia. While that defeat may linger in the minds of some voters, topping the Cougars by three touchdowns should reinforce Oregon’s place as one of the teams to beat in the conference race.

Alabama, Georgia, etc.
Another weekend of games against overmatched competition resulted in a series of lopsided wins for the best of the best in the FBS. Four of the top teams in action Saturday afternoon — No. 1 Alabama, No. 2 Georgia, No. 5 Michigan and No. 6 Oklahoma — won by a combined score of 219-28. One week after struggling to put away Texas, the Crimson Tide had three non-offensive touchdowns in a 63-7 win against Louisiana-Monroe.

Washington
The Huskies are no longer a secret after a 39-28 win against No. 9 Michigan State. Sneaking under the radar after an uneven two seasons under former coach Jimmy Lake, UW remained overlooked following easy wins against Kent State and Portland State but is destined for this week’s Top 25. New coach Kalen DeBoer has made an immediate impact on the quality of the Huskies’ offense and in particular on quarterback play: Indiana transfer Michael Penix Jr. had four touchdowns against the Spartans, giving him 10 on the season with just one interception.

LSU
It’s interesting to think about the vibe around LSU had the Tigers lost to Mississippi State and fallen to 1-2 in Brian Kelly’s first season. Not good, right? Instead, the 2-1 Tigers scored 21 points in the fourth quarter and beat the Bulldogs 31-16 to secure Kelly’s first SEC win. With New Mexico and Auburn up next, LSU should be 4-1 before meeting Tennessee on Oct. 8.

Appalachian State
On the same day the school played host to ESPN’s “College GameDay,” the Mountaineers pulled off the most incredible finish of the season’s opening month. With his team trailing Sun Belt rival Troy 28-26 with two seconds left and the ball near midfield, Appalachian State quarterback Chase Brice’s desperation heave was tipped by a group of Troy defenders and deflected into the arms of wide receiver Christan Horn, who caught the ball around the 7-yard line and weaved around the right side to complete the improbable win. It’s been a memorable week for the Mountaineers, who upset Texas A&M last Saturday.

Kansas
The Jayhawks are the best story in college football. Now 3-0 after topping Houston 48-30, Kansas is way ahead of schedule under second-year coach Lance Leipold and in range of the program’s first bowl bid since 2008. This coaching staff has played a huge role in the development of third-year quarterback Jalon Daniels, who had 281 yards of total offense, 123 coming on the ground, and five touchdowns in the upset of the Cougars. That KU is surging will put Leipold on the list for every significant job opening in the Big Ten footprint, beginning with Nebraska.

Texas A&M
The No. 22 Aggies were able to right the ship against No. 13 Miami (Fla.), as the defense locked down a 17-9 victory that reinserts some optimism into a season that could’ve run off the rails with a loss. The offense looked better at times behind new starting quarterback Max Johnson, the former LSU transfer who replaced a struggling Haynes King, but was still bogged down by often conservative and unimaginative play calling and design. While the Hurricanes deserve some credit, the Aggies gained just 265 yards

Losers
Auburn
Auburn coach Bryan Harsin is the next Power Five coach facing extremely dire job security after the Tigers’ ugly loss at home. While the first loss of Auburn’s season, the performance Saturday comes just seven days after the Tigers struggled to put away San Jose State and just as the team turns to SEC play. Auburn takes on Missouri next weekend in a must-have game before facing LSU, Georgia and Mississippi.

Notre Dame
The first win of the Marcus Freeman era very nearly wasn’t: Notre Dame was able to sneak past California 24-17 after knocking down the Golden Bears’ possible game-tying heave into the end zone as time expired. While the win should relieve some pressure amid a very poor start to the year, issues on offense remain a major concern. The Fighting Irish gained just 297 yards on 64 plays against an opponent that ranked 50th nationally in yards allowed per play despite facing UC Davis and UNLV to open the year.

Brigham Young
Beating Oregon would’ve given BYU two wins against teams that may end up winning a Power Five championship, joining last week’s double-overtime victory against No. 19 Baylor. That would’ve sent the Cougars rising up the Coaches Poll and in position to crash the College Football Playoff with an unbeaten regular season, especially with high-profile games still to come against Notre Dame and Arkansas. While still in range of a nine-win season, BYU won’t be a factor in the race for the top four.

Nebraska
With interim coach Mickey Joseph on the sidelines in place of Scott Frost, Nebraska scored the first and last points in a non-conference rivalry game against No. 6 Oklahoma. Unfortunately, those two touchdowns merely sandwiched a 49-point scoring barrage that represents the latest low point for this stumbling program. Led by another 100-yard game from running back Eric Gray, the Sooners put up 580 yards of total offense and had 31 first downs while holding Nebraska to just 4.3 yards per play.

Georgia’s defense
Well, the Bulldogs gave up a touchdown. It took until the final moments of the fourth quarter of the blowout of South Carolina and involved the backups to the backups defense, snapping Georgia’s run of touchdown-free play to start the year at 179 minutes and 7 seconds. The Bulldogs have now given up 10 points in three games. How embarrassing, right?